There should be more than appointments in the diary

When we talk about helping older parents get out, the conversation often begins with the essentials.

The doctor. The pharmacy. The bank.

All important. But I’d like to make a case for lunch.

Lunch with an old friend, specifically. Or a visit to the grandchildren. Or a trip to the shops where there’s time to browse, choose something, and stop for coffee afterwards.

These outings can be easy to postpone when getting there requires several phone calls and somebody rearranging their afternoon.

“Another day” becomes the easiest answer. Then another week goes by.

For someone who has always made their own plans, having to ask for a lift may itself take some getting used to. They may hesitate because they know you’re busy, even when you would be happy to help.

It’s worth asking occasionally, “Is there somewhere you’d enjoy going this week?”

Leave the question open. The answer might be somewhere you wouldn’t have thought of: a familiar café, a particular shop, a friend they haven’t seen for a while.

Then work out what would make it manageable. Perhaps it’s a return journey arranged in advance. Perhaps it’s having someone nearby, with enough space to enjoy the visit privately.

The ordinary pleasures deserve a little planning too.

A calendar with something to look forward to can make the week feel very different.